The Ultra Awesome Mega Super Sparkling Shiny INTER-GALACTIC Radical Stupendous chocolate-dipped Geek Tournament of Olympic Proportions

Yep. You read that right. The Ninja Gang recently hosted the biggest, most Prussia-worthy tournament of, well, pretty much ever. I feel no shame in using the word “epic”. This will go down in the annuals of history. At least, I doubt I will be able to forget it…

Why was it intergalactic? Well, the tournament was open to people on other planets. We even sent an invitation to Mars, though they declined to come. Also, the word ‘inter-galactic’  adds atmosphere and an aura of extra awesomeness. Atmosphere is very important. Write that down, kids, life lesson. Atmosphere.

The competitors:

Zepher, Raven, Hugo, Thomas (he was here! We swear! When will that boy stop experimenting with the invisibility modules?), Miss Demeanor (who is ten and a half), and Quiche-kun.

Intro to Miss Demeanor: This ten- and one-half-year-old is a member of the Vikings, meaning that she goes and pillages surrounding cities into giving up all their pokemon cards. She’s rather spunky and is into K pop. (personally, I prefer T pop. Transylvania Pop)

Intro into Quiche-kun: He’s Prussian. He wants you all to know that. It’s very important. He’s a psychic  and knows about conversations that happened while he wasn’t there. Spooky, huh? He’s part ghost. He also would like to say that his favorite food is none of your business. He is a military otaku, and has habits of swearing in different languages.

The House Rules:

Chewing with your mouth open (-1 point)

Locking yourself in the bathroom (long story*) (-1 point)

Pronouncing Japanese words wrong (-1 point)

Taking your shirt off (-2 points)

Spitting *this is not a spittoon* (-2 points)

Not having at least a small amount of fun (-1 point)

And now for the events. We spent hours hours coming up with these…

1) Switzerland’s Future Mecha Blaster (neutrality included)

2) Flashing tulips. Yeah, we know it doesn’t actually tell you anything about it. That was kind of the point.

3) Performance of  DOOM!! (your life depends on it)

4) LEROY JENKINS!! You figure it out.

5) So you think you’re an otaku… Also a test of luck.

6) Mustard Eating. The best one of all.

7) The Penultimate Showdown. Rather a letdown after the mustard eating, actually.

8) THE FRIENDLY INVITATIONAL DEATH MATCH FINALE. It was very, very late at night, and we didn’t actually end up doing this one.

In future installments, we will be updating you on the results of each of the competitions, and informing you who is the champion of the entire world.

*Locking yourself in the bathroom: this is a long story. You don’t want to hear (read: read) it. We’re currently keeping a tally of how many people have locked themselves in that bathroom.


7 thoughts on “The Ultra Awesome Mega Super Sparkling Shiny INTER-GALACTIC Radical Stupendous chocolate-dipped Geek Tournament of Olympic Proportions

  1. I just happen to stumble across this website when I was searching up ninja stuff on wordpress and read some of your articles and its member and I have a question. If there are 5 people. Why is it that there’s only four people in the home page picure and why does this thomos seem like he has no ideas thay he is even apart of it? :\ Any way, your game sounds rlly fun but on the Japanese pronunciation part, what if you pronounces something different like a-kuma like ak-kuma or something that….. :> Just wondering

    • I’m going to be every truthfully honest, here. Get ready for a secret revelation… Thomas is the only member of the the ninja gang that doesn’t go to the same school as the rest of us. He did for a while (which is how we met), but he transferred out, so we don’t see him a lot. And then there’s the whole he always seems to be busy whenever the rest of us get together. Which is aggravating. Very. Was that too secret? I guess we’ll live. Thomas does know about this blog now (he’s even registered as an author) but to my immense annoyance, he has yet to post anything. I’ll keep bugging him.

      As for the pronunciation, we decided in advance (because we knew something like this would come up) that we would look up the official pronunciation online. And maybe argue about it when someone disagrees with the internet. Arguing is fun.

    • BTW, thanks for posting, random person. One of the things I hoped to do with this blog is meet (?) interesting people. Care to comment anymore?

  2. Thanks for your appreciation. I’ll be happy to share more of my opinions later and I hope that thomas will start posting stuff cause I’m really interested in his work. I know that he will be good at writing and arguing his opinion considering he takes debate……… creepy much! How did i know this ? Maybe I’m stalking him or maybe I used context clue or maybe cause zepher said he was too busy with his debate stuff………<3 Any way, I think I'll try to convince my friends to play this game next weekend. Hope they say yes. ; D

    • Oh, our first internet stalker! How exciting! Won’t Thomas be pleased?
      Actually, if you’re going to try and host a Geek Tournament of Epic Proportions, I wouldn’t take the Mustard Eating competition literally. It’s not actually what it seems. None of the titles, really, are supposed to tell you what the actual events are (kind of the point of the suspense). I was planning on doing a post a day about what happened in the various events. But I can post a short list and describe the events if you wanted them sooner. And I emailed Thomas about getting to some sort of electronic machine and writing
      some sort of something. We’ll see about that boy…

      • Thomas will be pleased, will he? Zepher, it’s times like this that you remind me of Haruhi Suzumiya. We’ve talked about this before.

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