In the next phase in my brilliant, sophisticated and wholly original plan to entertain you, I’m going to show you funny things. Well, I found them funny, at least. A picture, a joke, a website, a song, and a quote. Are you looking forward to it? Of course you are, because you’re the kind of person who loves being entertained. And if you’re not, what the heck are you doing on his site?
A funny joke (what other types are there?):
A mine owner advertised for new workers and three guys turned up- a German, and Italian, and a Japanese. The owner tells the German, “You’ll be in charge of the mining”. He tells the Italian “you’ll be in charge of the lift.” And he tells the Japanese “you’ll be in charge of making sure we have supplies.” The next day the three men went into the mine, and at the end of the day one man was missing, the Japanese. They searched for him for hours, and just when they were about to give up, he jumped out from behind a rock yelling “Supplies! Supplies!”
Since that joke just reminded me of another one, I’m going to tell you two jokes, you lucky dogs. This one’s slightly crude, so if you’re under the age of ten (maybe twelve?), skip it.
A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russia were viewing a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The Brit said “They look so calm. They must be British.” The Frenchman replied “Nonsense. They’re naked, and very beautiful. They must be French people.” The Russian disagreed “I don’t think so. They have no clothes, no shelter, they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian.”
Want another one, do you? Too bad- I already gave you one extra. Don’t be greedy. Next, an entertaining website.
You’ll be glad you do. *ALERT! RANDOM INTERRUPTION OF COMPLETE RANDOMNESS! BECAUSE COMPLETELY RANDOM THINGS ARE ALSO PRETTY FUNNY.
Now we return you to your regularly scheduled program- a relatively funny song.
And finally, a funny quote.
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
Hmmm… It’s funny, but not ha ha funny. Whatever- it still counts. Besides, I can’t think of a funnier one right now, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.
Now that I’ve hopefully made you laugh (maybe just a smirk?),
P.S. Okay, you got me. I looked it up and found another funny quote. Geez.
“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ”
P.S.S. Found another one. I can’t keep doing this!
“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. ” –Don Marquis
One more…. Arghhhhh! It’s just so funny! *pant pant*
“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.”