What’s in a name?

Everything, apparently.

As we were wandering the internet, looking for names for characters, Raven and I found one the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard of. It’s called the Kabalarian Philosophy, and it claims that a persons name is intricately tied to mathematics  which determine thought patterns, which determines your life and destiny (real word they used). Real quote from the site here, folks: “The Kabalarian Philosophy reveals that names given at birth create an energy field of intelligence from which individuals draw and around which their lives revolve.”

Here is the video explaining this very scientific view: (Honestly, I couldn’t stop laughing through the entire thing)

If you actually managed to get through that entire boring video, I applaud you. It was, quite frankly, a fancy(?) sounding presentation of the most stupid idea I have heard in a long while (another stupid idea was a classmate in seventh grade drinking the science experiment. That actually happened, you know.) Letters combining into numbers to determine your life? My first thought was ‘what about names in other languages, with different numbers?’  How, exactly, does that work? Notice the lack of sources or of any actual scientific evidence.

“Oh no, they’re onto us, Jim. We better run!”

“I can’t Bob, I have a stubborn name, and it’s not letting me go anywhere.”

So, to see how serious about this these people actually were, we bribed/threatened Hugo into calling the toll-free number offered on their website. Guess what? They had a consultant telling us that if we wanted a free name consultation, we would have to wait until Wednesday afternoon, as they were booked until then. In the mean time, we could order the free name report (to find out about the powerful energies contained in our names!) from their website, then a consultant would be glad to talk it over with us. It was very hard to hold in our laughter for the phone call to work.

Yep. They were booked. Going through the website offered some more laughs, as we typed our names into the “What does my name mean?” section and saw what came up. Oh, you want to know, do you? Well, we’re kinda using aliases here. It would defeat the purpose of code names if we went and told you our real ones… I will tell you this though; I typed in my codename Zepher, and the personality analysis that came up was closer to my personality than my real name! Oh, and apparently I’m prone to head injuries. T’s name causes weakness in her heart, lungs, and bronchial areas. Yup.

Here’s the website, for those of you who are stupid or bored enough to try it.


Hey, we’re not insulting you; we were either stupid enough or bored enough to try it, too. Not telling you which one, though. Also, check out the testimonials; they’re pretty funny.

*Note: I may be skeptical of the whole Kabalarian Philosophy, but I’m not trying to insult anyone who believes in it. Whatever floats your boat, right? I’m respectful of different opinions, and though I think your opinion might be a bit silly, I respect your right to have it. I have some beliefs that seem silly to other people too. And no, I’m not going to tell you, because you’d make fun of me. *




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