Breaking news! Among the thousands of millions of followers of the blog, a select few have formed a conspiracy theory group. (Who doesn’t like conspiracy theories? I do!)
What are they saying? Get this–they think that Thomas doesn’t actually exist.
You know, I don’t really blame them. After all, he hasn’t shown up yet. Right now he’s just the mysterious hooded figure who, according to the rest of the Ninja Gang, supposedly exists. I mean, all that’s been seen of Thomas so far is this one, somewhat nondescript, photograph:
Sure it’s only been a few days and he has a busy schedule (so do the rest of us, but we work our way around it for our adoring fans), but that doesn’t mean we made him up.
Never fear, my friends! I shall prove to you that Thomas exists. In order to silence the raging masses, I shall bring the evidence you so deeply desire to the table for your edification. Here are several eye-witness accounts of sightings of Thomas in the real world.
Susy Evergreen: “I met Thomas once, back in the second grade. We used to be in the same class. I remember he drew a picture of our teacher on the white board!”
Hillary Minirva: “Hmm… never heard of him. Are you sure that’s his name? No? What is his name, then? Oh, confidential, I see. So he’s a spy. Yeah, I saw him. There was a distinctly spy-like person on eighth street yesterday.”
Bob Hobberfortz: “Oh yeah! He bought a candy bar from the convenience store I work in, yesterday. That man fit your description perfectly. Dark-haired, wearing a hoodie, and his identification definitely said ‘Thomas.'”
Luis McNoodlin: “I met Thomas boarding a rather suspicious boat called the Prospero. He was clutching a newspaper and looking about shiftily. Yes, I’m sure he was Thomas! When I asked him his name, that’s what he told me! “
As you can see, Thomas clearly exists. You’ve been provided with photographic evidence (that is most certainly Thomas and not another person of relatively the same description) and quotes from real sightings of the actual person. If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is! Now stop all your doubting, people. I’ve meet Thomas (in fact, I gave him that name) and he most surely exists, and we certainly didn’t make him up.