Welcome to another day of sitting around, drinking tea (or coffee) and generally having a relatively good time. Here is a letter to read, so sit back, grab a blanket, go use the restroom if you need to and come back to your laptop/computer/whatever you’re reading this on and enjoy the words:
To the Editor
It has come to my attention that a certain three hundred and five of my letters have been sent back, with big black letters, saying that the contents have been burned. When I open the envelope all I see is some bits of burnt up paper. I was fine with this until one day when Mary Looplamp, a dear friend of mine saw one of these envelope opening catastrophes in the making. I would also usually be fine with this, but this time she just happened to have some insight on that very letter that she saw burnt. She was so upset that she went home sobbing and I have to call someone about a large wet spot of tears on my floor. Which if you have ever had a puddle the size of a pond in your kitchen then you would know how expensive it is to get someone to remove. I would normally remove it myself, but as you see I just happened to injure my tailbone. Indeed a terrible thing which happened to be hurt by a very large tiger that just happened to be in my way when I was driving over to your house to see why you were on a paper burning rampage. But when one goes through so much just to find out why my pet hamster is now going ‘green’, one gives up so this being my last letter sent to 1948 w. Margie St. as I have found out from my sources that you have moved to a faraway land because you were tired of being able to be contacted. I do fear for your health as I find that you have moved to an underwater observatory, I do hope that the glass doesn’t crack, because if I remember right, you don’t know how to swim.
Best of wishes,
Frisbee K. Waterloo
Have a nice day filled with pictures of cute cats,