Mustard Eating (Part one)

Onto the sixth and most awesome event in The Ultra Awesome Mega Super Sparkling Shiny INTER-GALACTIC Radical Stupendous chocolate-dipped Geek Tournament of Olympic Proportions. I recommend you read events one, two, three , four and five (in that exact order) before reading this one. The Ninja Gang strongly supports chronological order. Event one: Switzerland’s Future Mecha Blaster (neutrality included) Event two:  Flashing Tulips Event three: The Performance of Doom Event four: LEROY JENKINS!!! Event five: So you think you’re an otaku…These can be found in the  Geek Tournament category for your perusing pleasure.

OK, so before we begin this pretty epic finale, I must inform you- no members of the Ninja Gang actually ate mustard. At least not on this particular night. We have eaten straight mustard before.

http://www.aboutgrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Eating-Gluten-Free-Is-Mustard-OK.jpg

Mustard Eating was our clever name for… A Ninja Gang-style Truth or Dare Marathon!!!!!

The Ninja Gang doesn’t like to play the traditional version of Truth or Dare, because it gets dreadfully boring. It’s very subjective. To add another element of risk and excitement, everything is completely anonymous. That is, everyone writes one truth and one dare on little slips of paper, and then we put them is separate piles and draw randomly. So you have a chance of drawing the dare that you wrote. This also means that you can’t direct specific challenges at a certain person.

We started out with pretty easy questions and dares. You know, stuff that any old person could handle- you wouldn’t need our ninja level skills. Except for Hugo- he really doesn’t have any such skills. One of the first round dares was the incredibly challenging dare ‘do a somersault.’ Well, it would have been easy for anyone.

Except Hugo, who can’t do a somersault, and of course was the one to get it. He’s a second-degree black belt in Taekwondo, and yet he can’t do a somersault. He kind of does this thing where he goes up on his head, and then sort of gives a little ‘flop’, and ends up on his side. Since the Ninja Gang members, are, at heart, nice people, we didn’t want anyone to get out on the first round. So we spent this dare basically teaching Hugo how to somersault well enough to meet the criteria. And we interpreted ‘somersault’ in its loosest possible terms. Other dares included Zepher doing the can-can while singing the Barney song, and Quiche-kun licking one of the stones above the fireplace (which was not the worst thing licked this evening).

As the night went on, we ramped up the intensity. After all, we had to get someone to quit somehow! Hugo tackled and pinned Miss Demeanor to the ground, Zepher expressed her undying love for Quiche-kun in poetic fashion, and Hugo (tried) to pull out Zepher’s hair. That didn’t end up happening, but the dare was worded in a way that once Zepher hit you, the dare ended. She hit him.

Finally, a dare came that someone refused to do. Who was it? Raven. The dare that finally melted Raven’s courage? That stripped away all her bravado and determination, and forced a withdrawal? Lick Hugo’s hair for ten seconds. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Anything but that!!! I mean, bowing and kissing everyone’s hands is one thing, but Hugo’s hair?!? Who knows the last time he washed it- there were little flecks of white in it, and- stop. It’s just gross, OK? Raven met her limit, but the game continues.

And this is were Quiche-kun shines. I promised a few posts back that Quiche-kun would get his moment of fame, and here it is. He was determined. Some the things Quiche-kun did this night will go down in Ninja Gang legend for eternity. The dares started getting harder and harder, more and more embarrassing, more and more inappropriate. Em-bare-assing became literal when Quiche-kun had to march out of the house and moon the audience through the window. Honestly, we’re taking it on the honor system that he actually did this, because, believe you me, none of us were watching to find out.

Next one to get out was Miss Demeanor. Because it was late at night, and we were very hyped on caffeine, and we really needed to get more people out, we… recycled a few dares. And Miss Demeanor happened to get Quiche-kun’s old favorite, ‘moon the audience through the window.’ She couldn’t do it. A very nice display of the decency and propriety needed for a proper young lady, but completely ineffective in Ninja Gang truth or dare. She was out.

In the second post, three determined contestants are left. Who will be the one to take home the prize and the ten points? Quiche-kun, Hugo, or Zepher?

You will notice that while I’ve stated that we are playing truth or dare, I have only expanded upon the dares. This is because there were some pretty embarrassing truths spouted, and we all swore the sacred oath: what is said in truth or dare stays in truth or dare. So I really am sworn to secrecy this time, and can’t tell any of you teeming masses a thing.

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